How to Get Over a Break Up

Published on October 9, 2013 by thomasall

Filed under Love and Romance

Last modified October 8, 2013

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Finding true love and getting into a relationship is a hard thing. But what’s harder than that is to face the hardships of a breakup. Breakups are extremely difficult to handle and can easily push a person into an emotional turmoil, psychological trauma and even a perpetual state of depression. But trouble handled well turns into an experience, an opportunity.

BreakupNever be in Denial – A common mistake which most people do after a breakup is forcing themselves into never thinking about it. Suppressing one’s emotions is extremely unhealthy. You need to face the facts, make peace with what has happened. Think over the entire episode of breakup, thoroughly but never obsessively.

Trust your Judgement – Never let yourself believe that the decision made by you or your partner was wrong. The mind is under a great deal of stress in this period, and is sure to play tricks on you. It was a choice that any one of you might have made; and now there is no reversing it. Accept that.

Do not isolate yourself – After a breakup, you would rather not entertain the company of others. Confining your world to yourself seems to be the best option. But this isolation acts as food for the depression that is right at your doorstep. Talk to a trusted friend. Even if you need some alone time, keep yourself busy, listen to music, improvise and don’t let your mind to get stuck up on the breakup.

Channelling the frustration – Breakup leaves a person with a huge reserve of remorse, hatred and anger. These emotions are highly volatile and will come out in one form or the other in some time. Let it. Do not hold back. Cry, if you feel like crying. Break a few things, if you are angry. Scream if you need to. Let it all escape.

Analyse yourself – Talk to your friends, write down your feelings, read them over and over again, and understand how well you are coping with the breakup. Opening up helps a lot. It does not always have to be a confession or an emotional reminiscence of past memories. It can be a light moment, where you talk to your friends about your previous relationship. It makes the breakup seem like a silly thing in your eyes too.

Do not swear off relationships – The biggest mistake that people commit after a breakup is convincing themselves that relationships are bad. You may feel the urge to stay away from another relationship for ever. But remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. It takes a lot of stupid mistakes to finally reach the right person.

Get rid of all their stuff – This is a very important step in overcoming a breakup. People feel that keeping some of their stuff will help them remember what was wrong with that relationship and will help them make better decisions. NO. These memoirs will just continue to haunt you with their memories. They will shackle your mind and prevent it from letting go.

Shed the Negatives, Hug the Positives – Make a list of all the great things that you can do each day. There are still so many people to meet. Imagine yourself in a new place, with a new person. Create a relationship scenario in your mind. Live in those happy memories. Positive energy emanates from your body while you are at this, and before you know it, you would have already gotten over the breakup.

Finally, start dating again

The first date after a breakup will always be difficult. It might bring back memories of your last experiences. But keep reminding yourself that “This is new, this is exciting.”

Only then will you realise that, this is “Moving On”.

If you’re interested in finding out how you can more easily fall in love, click here for our how to guide on that subject.

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